I got married a few weeks ago. As a responsible academic, I did my research on marriage before saying, “I do.” It turns out that, in many ways, my experiences are representative of the state of marriage in the U.S.
Marriage rates are declining. Age of first marriage is increasing. Rates of cohabitation are on the rise. And, an increasing share of adults are unpartnered—neither married nor living with a partner. According to the sociologist Andrew Cherlin, marriage is experiencing “deinstitutionalization.”
The 2016-2020 American Community Survey, focusing on people 15 and older in the U.S., finds that 48.1% are married, 10.8% are divorced, 1.8% are separated, 5.7% are widowed, and 33.5% are never married. Declining marriage rates are not just because of the COVID-19 pandemic. The marriage rate in the U.S. has been falling since the post-WWII marriage boom. Before the pandemic, in 2019, marriage rates were the lowest that they have ever been since the U.S. government started recording marriages in 1867.
My experience of delaying marriage is not uncommon for those of my generation. As an older millennial, I graduated college just in time for the Great Recession. Facing a challenging job market, I focused on continuing my education. This meant delaying attainment of many traditional markers of adulthood, including full-time employment, homeownership, marriage, and children.
Age of first marriage is increasing. In the 1950s, the median age of first marriage was 20 for women and 22 for men. Today, the median age of first marriage is 28 for women and 30 for men.
Many young people are delaying marriage or choosing not to get married at all according to data from the 2016-20 ACS. Among those 20-34, only 26.5% of men are married and 33.3% of women are married. The marriage rate increases among those who are 35-44; 60.9 % of men and 62% of women ages 35-44 are married. A majority of Americans still get married, but it is happening much later in life than marriage in earlier generations.
Rates of cohabitation are on the rise. My new wife and I lived together for four years before tying the knot. Cohabitation was once taboo, but many Americans are living with a partner without getting married. ACS data show that 9% of adults age 25-54 are cohabitating with a romantic partner. In 1990, only 4% of Americans ages 25-54 were cohabitating with a partner.
Compared to just a few decades ago, many more Americans are choosing to stay single. 38% of U.S. adults age 25-54 are unpartnered, according to ACS data. This is up from 29% in 1990. While a portion of these unpartnered folks were married previously, the growth of the unpartnered population is among those who have never been married. Men are now more likely than women to be unpartnered, which was not the case thirty years ago.
Today, marriage is just one possible lifestyle among many others. Entering middle adulthood, the prospect of financial security and other benefits of marriage contributed to our decision to get married.
The sociologist Andrew Cherlin claims that marriage in the U.S. has experienced deinstitutionalization—a weakening of the social norms that define people’s behaviors. Marriage is no longer mandatory. Marriage has become a choice, rather than a necessity. Marriage and alternatives to marriage are socially acceptable.
Cherlin claims that despite deinstitutionalizing, marriage remains symbolically significant. Marriage is a marker of prestige and a personal achievement. My boomer parents, aunts, and in-laws are quite excited for our new marriage. I am excited too, but for different reasons. Cherlin claims that the rewards of marriage for previous generations focused on the fulfillment of social roles such as the dedicated mother or supportive spouse. Today, Americans seek personal growth and self-development from their marriages.
Roscoe Scarborough, Ph.D. is an assistant professor of sociology at College of Coastal Georgia and an associate scholar at the Reg Murphy Center. He can be reached by email at rscarborough@ccga.edu.
Reg Murphy Center